if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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