I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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