i would punch a child for taco bell
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
