I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
