Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize