We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
