Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
