dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
