im drinking this country out of the recession.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
