Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
