The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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