i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
