he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
