Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
