Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He has the fingertips of a God
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
