If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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