If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
