"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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