I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
