I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
