He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didn't notice because vodka
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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