I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
