ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
