Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
