That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
from now on my penis is your penis
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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