God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
