Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
