2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
