I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
