I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
