UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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