I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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