this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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