how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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