Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
