im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize