As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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