you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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