I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
