great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
