My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize