Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
