Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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