therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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