I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
