aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
