Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
this will be a night to untag.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
