Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
