Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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