No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
