your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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