Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
