I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He felt like a one man threesome
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
