how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
