So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
