i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
