Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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