I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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