it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
