I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
